Posts tagged my life

This week my brother and his wife decided to book a trip to Hawaii. In most situations I would think that was cool, but in this case I am not amused.

You see, my brother sent me a series of text messages essentially asking for my permission, because the days that worked best included the day of MY 30TH BIRTHDAY.

It’s a big deal to me because I have to travel to my homeland, Colorado, to see family and I only get to have one 30th birthday party.

This incident brought to mind another story of families and power: “Game of Thrones,” and it got me thinking about how my life would appear in that context and what it most resembles

Origin Story/Early years: House Baratheon

Born in the capital, King’s Landing, to a respected nobleman. First of three, two boys and a girl. Grew up in the city with all its privileges.

Adolescent upbringing: Theon Greyjoy

Life in capital halted, as I am sent to live in a different house in the North. Adopt many of the Northern customs and identify with the local values. Life I was born into becomes foreign and am viewed as an outsider.

Current Foe: Jamie Lannister

Member of the King’s Guard and heir to wealthy family. Also a tremendously self-confident jerkwad with little regard for others outside the family.

Key Ally: House Stark

Personal statement: “Born in the capital, grew up in the North.”

Ambitions: Robb Stark

Not concerned about the war for the Iron Throne, rather independence for the North and its people.

Current situation: Daenerys Targaryen

Exiled in the East, biding time while gaining supporters by understanding their way of life.

I am a graduate student living with two undergraduate exchange students. Just about every weekend my roommates invite scores of their friends over to systematically (and predictably) turn my apartment into the club and trash my apartment like metal bands used to do in the 80s. 

To combat this obnoxiousness, I invented a time machine. Here is how you build a time machine (although I do not recommend building one if you are claustrophobic):

1. Empty the contents of your closet (assuming you can) so that you can lay in it comfortably.
2. Remove the sheets, comforter, and pillows from your bed.
3. Place one blanket on the closet floor for a cushion against the carpet. Arrange rest of bedding according to your comfort specifications.
4. If you have proper earplugs, insert now. If not, fashion some out of kleenex.
5. Close closet door.

The time machine is similar to a Japanese capsule hotel in terms of space. However, if conditions are right - as in my case, the time machine is a makeshift status chamber - devoid of sound or light and suitable for sleeping.

The real benefit of a time machine occurs when you wake up, as the closet door will prevent any light from entering, thus allowing its user to catch up on missed sleep. 

However, be aware that once you wake up and “deactivate” the time machine, you may not realize what day it is, what time it is, or how long you have been asleep - especially if you did not take your phone/watch in with you.

It’s just like being Commander Shepard in “Mass Effect 2.” 

1. Eat some dinner
2. Review the events of the day
3. Tidy the room up a bit
4. Walk past the random foreign exchange student sleeping on the couch
    who arrived yesterday but hasn’t said a word since English is not his native language

You know, the usual.

Before I start to complain, I should point out that my life is actually pretty good and I am guilty of losing perspective of its positive aspects. I attend graduate school and do not have to pay tuition. English is one of three languages spoken at my apartment and I regularly interact with people from foreign countries. Everyday I sift through and splice together raw film footage  - including putting together the basketball highlight video (oddly enough the most highlight worthy clip I’ve seen was an alley-oop from a visiting school) - as a job. I can imagine that many people would trade their seemingly uninteresting lives for mine.

Unfortunately, my life is not all sunshine and roses, not peachy keen-jelly bean. For the past couple weeks I have had a devil of a time sleeping soundly. A good night’s sleep has become a precious commodity.

Friday was a good day. My grad department threw their semi-annual potluck lunch - which I initially forgot about because I work up late that morning. In a rush, I threw a couple corn dogs in the microwave before I went to work. After I made my way into the office to find no one there, I remembered that they had all gone to the potluck lunch in the Mac Lab.

Now, my grad department is highly cosmopolitan and the potluck was like a mini Grand Bazaar - an international flavor explosion. Among the delights (all homemade by the way) Chinese stir fry and fried rice, babaganoush and hummus, white bean chili, Greek salad, NY style cheesecake.
Naturally, I indulged myself - it would be un-American not to.

I spent the rest of my workday reviewing the footage from Wednesday’s basketball games for the end of the year highlight video. Upon completion, I mentioned to my Chinese co-worker Zhang that I suspected that my Korean roommates would once again turn my place into Studio 54 that night. Throughout the day I had come up with a contingency plan in case my intuition proved correct. I was determined to sleep soundly that night…

When I arrived home, my door was propped open with a 15 pound dumbbell. One of my Korean roommates (I have two) was slicing tofu and making a kimchi based beef stew. While the dish is rather tasty, whenever I see him preparing kimchi based beef stew, I know that we’re having company.

“How many people are coming over,” I asked.

“Oh, about 12.”

Right….well, it’s time to enact the contingency plan:

1. Pack the overnight bag (jeans, polo shirt, two pairs of boxers, socks, toothbrush, comb, meds, computer, AC adapter, school books, “Seven Samurai” and “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.”)
2. Book hotel room in Lawrence (70 miles away)
3. Be ready to leave in 15-20 minutes or less.

I drove to Lawrence, checked into the hotel room, had Italian for dinner (there is no Italian restaurant in my town), bought mid-range maduro cigar, returned to hotel, slept for 12 hours.

I am still here in Lawrence and the Jayhawks are scheduled to play in about an hour so the KU fans are everywhere. According to an article I read recently, KU fans supposed create the best college basketball atmosphere in the nation.

This is the life I live folks….

Here are some of my greatest hits of the week:

Wednesday Jan. 9, 4:54 p.m.

To: Curtis

“Thanks for the update on the latest (David) Bowie. I watched the video of his disembodied head. It was freaky…”

Thursday Jan. 10, 8:27 p.m.

To: Kevin

“I don’t know if you knew, this but Topeka sucks. I was so bored I drove here to try and find something to eat and I couldn’t believe how hard it was to find something remotely appealing. I ultimately settled on McDonalds…fuck…”

Reply from Kevin:

“Shit dude! That’s sucks big effing time!!! Never go back unless you have to!!!

To: Kevin

“Agreed. On another note, it would be a fantastic location for a zombie apocalypse movie…”

Saturday Jan. 12, 3:55 p.m.

To: Curtis

Re: Denver Broncos vs. Baltimore Ravens NFL Playoff Game

“Fuck. Shit. Balls. Condom! How do we give up 14 points in 3 minutes?! Fuck!”

Hooray! Now I can resume my regular habits.

My PC is currently in the shop awaiting repairs - I was damned lucky I remembered my password - so forgive me if I am not as active in the Tumblrverse as I would like.

I am sure there will be a lovely story to tell once this episode is over, so stay tuned. I know many of you enjoy my escapades.